A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
__________________________________________________________________________________A lady walks into Tiffany's.. She browses around, spots a beautiful
diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look
more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed
her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a
salesman standing right behind her.
Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman
greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been
there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the
price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit
when I tell you the price.'
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a foreigner was visiting an English country...
he was crossing a busy street... then, a police approach him and talked to him.
police: I'm sorry sir, but your not allowed to cross here...can't you see the sign? "No Jaywalking"
Foreigner: Oh...You're wrong!! I'm not Jay..I'm Steve..
______________________________________________________________________________
MAN: i'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: i'm sorry, i can't sell this dog food to you unless i see the dog. store policy.
the next day, the man returns
MAN: i'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT LADY: do you have a cat?
MAN: yes
CHECKOUT LADY: well... where is he?
MAN: he's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: sorry, i can't sell this cat food to you unless i see your cat.
the next day the man returns.
CHECKOUT LADY: what's in the sack?
MAN: put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmmmm... it's warm and moist! what is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper.
Labels: Mrs Tomohisa
